ISSUE No. 47 www.salisburyu3a.org.uk JULY 2006
Saturday July 15th is National Archaeology Day
Salisbury Trust for the Homeless
By kind permission of John Lewis Partnership
LONGSTOCK WATER GARDENS
on the Leckford Estate near Stockbridge
Open in aid of the Trust on Sunday, July 16th
2 pm to 5 pm
Tickets £4 (adults) 50p (children) available at the gate
or from STFH Offices, 148 Fisherton Street, Salisbury
More information HERE
NEWS FROM THE GROUPS
meetings in the Harnham Memorial Hall.
July 25th Villages on the Plain Rex Sawyer
August 28th No meeting in the hall but an outing to Iron Age Hill Fort at Danebury and a visit to Andover Museum.
September 26th Lynn Woolten talks about Conservation and the recent work in the Museum.
October 31st Salisbury Mints (not edible ones!) by Paul Robinson, curator of the Devizes museum.
Walking Group ‘ Exploring the Countryside’
On a day when all the signs indicated that it wouldn’t be a good idea (bus strike, gales and heavy rain forecast) Pauline organised 14 walkers on a visit to Bentley Wood. Lifts were arranged, our guide was there to meet us and we set out to explore, secure in the knowledge that we would definitely not get lost within the many rather look-alike rides and paths. The trees were at their most beautiful with the lovely greens of new leaves, soft and delicate, disturbed by a slight breeze. In the company of Sue, our guide, we were introduced to some of the rarer plants and different habitats that exist in this very large acreage of woodland which is bounded by Winterslow, West Tytherley, East Grimstead, Pitton and Farley, and heard some of its history including the concealment of hundreds of armoured cars and American army vehicles in the weeks before D-Day.
We were led as far as the Barn, a simple building with facilities for group picnics and barbecues as well as lots of information about the aims of the Trust that manages the woods and the various birds, butterflies, moths and plants to be found there at different seasons, there is also a board on which recent sightings may be recorded.
There are many clearings where the trees have been thinned to let in more light and to allow new growth. The bluebells were still plentiful, although primroses had largely disappeared and on the way back by a different route a clump of orchids was spotted. The Butterfly Orchid was on the verge of coming out. We also saw an extraordinary parasitic plant called toothwort and although there were so many of us we managed to startle two or three deer that leapt away to find more cover.
This is just a flavour of a walk that was totally pleasant and full of interest. We hope to pay another visit in the Autumn.
Article by Iris Finn
CELEBRATION OF GETTING OLDER or the perks of being over 60.
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run - anywhere.
4. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 p.m.
9. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit holding your stomach in no matter who walks in the room.
13. Your eyes won't get much worse.
14. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
15. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Centre.
16. Your secrets are safe with friends because they can't remember them either.
17.Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
FOR SALE OR WANTED
WELCOME TO NEW MEMBERS
Michael Ritchley, Andrew Poole and Stuart Robson
|In September we will be sending out invitations to new members to an informal coffee morning where we can explain the way Spire U3A is organised and answer any queries. Meanwhile if you think someone new is next to you introduce yourself please.|
The remaining page from the book called Disorder in the American Courts.
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice, which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!